Five 4th Trimester “Mistakes” that you don’t need to make…
Mistakes are going to happen in your 4th Trimester, some may argue are they really a mistake? You are simply doing the best you can based on what you know, so some may consider that there are no mistakes, just learning curves - and I would agree with this.
However, I wish I had listened more about how to navigate my 4th Trimester as a first time mum, and not been in such denial that my life was about to change. I was a first-time mum with little support as my immediate family live in Australia and I didn’t really have any friends who lived close to me in Surrey. I felt a lot of my mistakes were around support.
Here are a few more mistakes that I made, so now you don’t have to!
Mistake 1:
No frozen home cooked meals and food in the cupboards: I know this sounds like a no brainer, but I just didn’t do it. I thought there would be time for cooking and reading! I didn’t really realise how much feeding and nursing was involved.
Try not to leave cooking until maternity leave, as sometimes things happen early, or you end up in hospital earlier. Start a few months out and order a few more things on the shopping list ( this will also help you budget). Then begin to freeze some dinners, and healthy snacks, like low sugar muffins, banana bread, cookies.
Mistake 2:
Not doing my research into breast pumps before birth, and possibly purchasing one in the last month: This is a really is a personal one, it depends if you plan to breastfeed or not. Some mothers know they don’t want to breastfeed, or only breastfeed for a short period of time. However I knew that I wanted to breastfeed for a considerable time, but I didn’t really think how my personality would cope with being the only food source for baby. The truth is I was happy to breastfeed, and wanted to exclusively do so but found it hard to do every feed.
So pumping really helped with my mental health, and I had much less anxiety when I knew there was milk in the fridge/freezer.
Mistake 3:
Not organising more help with a 1 Year old dog: I thought that I would really enjoy dog walking with baby, however my dog turned into a monkey and started chasing bike riders and runners. Although my fitness was ok, my sleep-deprived state couldn’t handle trying to train a dog and look after the 4 week old on my chest, it is stressful enough having a newborn, a dog that wants your attention can really overwhelm things.
So if you have young animals and you are the one that normally looks after them, their behaviour may change and catch you by surprise. Have a back up plan if this happens.
Mistake 4:
Not researching or understanding anything about baby sleep. I genuinely thought that if my baby was unsettled/ colicky I would be able to help with that as a Chiropractor, and then sleep would be fine. I knew about melatonin changes and how to create a “womb like environment” but I didn’t really understand about sleep cycles or when they change.
I wish I knew about the golden 40min cycles. This would have just helped give me a little more structure in my day.
Mistake 5:
Thinking that I would get loads of reading, researching and admin done. I thought that I would just play catch-up once baby was here, and although I did, it was exhausting and my mental health did suffer. Many mums end up moving into a new home, or thinking they can finish work off once baby is here, and of course they can and do, but it places you in a stressful state. It can become harder to problem solve what’s going on with you and baby and can send you into overwhelm.
Give yourself the first 3 months; try not to finish any other project in that period. Finishing the house can wait and so can work, only do what is bringing joy, not stressing you.